Love.

Love is the greatest feeling in the world when you know that the person you love loves you back.

But then love can be the worst feeling in the world when you're madly in love with someone who doesn't feel a thing for you.

I've been in love 2 times so far. At least. . .in my terms, it was love.

When I think of love, I think of that funny feeling in my stomach when I think about him or being around him. I think about how he is the first person I think of every time I wake up and the last person I think of before I go to sleep. I think about the funny smile my lips create when I see him but I hide it. I think about how I'm not able to get him off my mind for long.

But there are also, like all things, the negative side of love.

When I think of the negative of love, I think about the heartaches I have to go through. I think about the tears I cry at night. I think about how I don't cross his mind when he crosses mine a million times. I think about how he'll never be mine.

I'm going to hate this Valentine's Day. My anniversary with him was the 14th of every month. And ironically, our 8th month would have been February 14th : Valentine's Day. Now that it's over, I'm dreading it more than ever. When the day comes, I'm going to be suffering it from the start til the end. I guarantee there will be at least one tear I'll be shedding on that day. I'm going to be so envious of the couples around me, how sweet and cute they look together. It'll break my heart because I could have been one of them but I'm not.

The worst thing is, though he had strong feelings for me since freshman year and I had feelings for him too, he's over me now while I'm still lingering here in the pain and the hurt.

I haven't cried about this relationship for a month. . .now the tears are back.

"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."
-- Mignon McLaughlin