Today's looking up just a little bit. . .for now.
I haven't felt so. . .relaxed for a long time.
December 2008 has been my worst month in a lot of months I've gone through so far. I suffered 2 losses, a love and a loved one. I haven't felt so down in a long time. My heart broke twice in that month. If anyone every asked me to experience it again for a million dollars, I'd rather keep a feeling of a healing heart than take the materialistic item. I never want my heart to shatter twice in one month ever again. I wish I can guarantee myself with that, but I can't.
This month, January, I've had 3-4 people tell me they'll be in support of me if anything goes wrong. Just for now, things are getting slightly better.
One of the best things about this month was probably finally being able to be friends with someone who went through drama with me last year & had a broken friendship until now. I'm happy that we're finally talking again.
Right now, I think. . .I might have feelings for a guy. . .the size of a grain of sand. haha. But overall, my heart doesn't belong to anyone right now. Dealing with the heart is tiring. The guy who I loved has moved on, & I'm beginning to, too.
"Sometimes the cards we are dealt are not always fair. However you must keep smiling & moving on."
-- Tom Jackson
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