I miss him. I miss when he used to say silly sweet things to me on the phone. I miss how he used to always want me extremely happy, even if it didn't benefit him. I miss how we'd always sneak up on each other and poke each other on the cheeks. I miss how we'd stick together like peanutbutter and jelly, wherever I was, he'd be there too. I miss how he said dummii things and it'd always make me laugh. I miss how we used to go out & have a load of fun at the movies. I miss how he gave me all his love & how he'd always be there for me. I miss how he was my best friend. I miss how he'd always wait for me after my class. I miss how we'd pass notes to each other every other period. I miss how he'd offer me a hug & pretend to be sad when I pretended to refuse. I miss how he'd always listen to what I've got to say and he'd put in his opinion too. I miss how he was the person that I would always turn to. I miss trusting him with all my heart. I miss how he called exactly at 9 so we can talk until 10. I miss how he'd always understand me. I miss how we talked about how we would stay together for a lifetime and future plans we'll do. I miss how he pretended to propose to me, I'd say yes, and I'd give him a funny feeling inside. I miss how he'd always wait for me. I miss how he'd always put up with me. I miss everything. I miss 61408.
I had feelings for him since freshman year but I didn't even notice until sophomore year. We treated each other differently from everyone else. The only difference between us was he knew he had feelings for me, when I didn't know I had feelings for him at all.
But I screwed everything up. I screwed up one of the best opportunities that I can get. I had to have some sort of crappy attitude. I had to be a stupid idiot about everything. I had to be a clingy bitch every moment. Something about me made us not last. If I knew what, I would take it back & start all over again. I want another chance to show him I can be his support, be his love, be his best friend.
. . .but that chance isn't going to come by.
All I can do is think back to the past.
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
-- Kahlil Gibran
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