My thoughts roam. My hopes soar high. My imagination runs wild. I try and shake it off but all of it clings onto me. Then as I try and ignore it all, I run into the wall of reality. I face what's on paper. I face what is set in stone. I just look and shake my head. Disappointment.
At this moment, my mind blanks. I don't even know what to say anymore. Just that I want to start fresh. This past month did not count as my New Year. It was part of my mistaken 2009 year. Starting midnight tonight, I hope to seriously start anew. During the day, I've realized that I'm reversing myself backwards and I don't want that. Like I said before, I vowed this year to be good, if not great. I want to live moments that are unforgettable. I don't want to regret so much like I did last year. What's done is done.
But the thing I cannot avoid is dreaming and disappointment. I set myself up and then knock myself down. These are my obstacles this year. I hope to conquer them. I just hope I don't hit rock bottom again. I want to rise and rise and only trip once in a while. Please, I hope for that.
"The sudden disappointment of a hope leaves a scar which the ultimate fulfillment of that hope never entirely removes."
-- Thomas Hardy
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