Saturday, December 19, 2009

What have I become?

I have no passion for any clubs this year. I say that I'll do things but then I don't. I say I'll better myself but I end up turning around. I feel like just doing the minimum for things instead of aiming for a high achievement. I just sit around lazily, not bothering to spend my time decently.

This year is nearly over and I vowed when senior year started, I'm going to do as much as I can to make senior year memorable. And what have I done? I HAVEN'T DONE SHIT. I truly wanted to go to the Rose Float Decoration event this year but in the end, I didn't even bother and pay for Key Club. My college applications are at an extreme minimum. My sights of a UC are fading away. I wanted to join 3 club this year but in the end I joined NONE.

I'm trying the best I can to make things right. Make things last. Make things memorable. But I'm doing the extreme opposite. My heart's breaking when I think of what I'm becoming.

I wish and hope to vow for 2010 to be the change-for-the-better year. I need to. I hope to. I truly hope to.

I truly wonder what I have become.

"By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail."
-- Benjamin Franklin

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